Wednesday, 6 February 2019

Monthly Meeting Minutes - 6th February 2019

At this month's meeting "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) revealed a new method of creating Holmesian pastiche. He fed The Canon through a shredder, took some pieces at random and put them together to make a new story. This was the result:

The Relations Between Us
By Arthur Conan Doyle and Paul Thomas Miller

The relations between us in those latter days were peculiar. (CREE) Holmes had spent several days in bed, as was his habit from time to time. (3GAR) Holmes looked at me thoughtfully and shook his head. (SUSS)
“Awake, Watson?” he asked. (REDH)
“I slipped in in safety and lay awake half the night in my joy at the thought of seeing you.” (COPP)
“Do you know, Watson,” said Holmes as we sat together in the gathering darkness, “I have really some scruples as to taking you to-night. (SPEC) I wouldn't hurt a hair of your bonny head for all that the world can give” (VALL)
“Good heavens, Holmes! Do you suppose that such a consideration weighs with me of an instant?” (DYIN)
“I seem to have knocked up against something hard,” (DANC) he showed that it was indeed as he said. (SECO) “You see it, Watson?” he yelled. “You see it?” (SPEC)
“It is peculiarly strong and stiff.” (SECO)
“I think that I must turn to you Watson, for something more solid.” (NOBL)
Then a queer thought came into my head and showed me where I could lay my hand on a weapon. (SIGN)
“What do you think of this, Watson?” he asked, tossing it. (NORW)
“Well, it is not the first we have shared, Holmes. I hope it may not be the last.” (3GAR)
For two hours we rambled about together, in silence for the most part, as befits two men who know each other intimately. (YELL)
“Excellent, Watson, excellent!” murmured my companion. (SILV)
“You wish me to come?”(STUD)
“Come over here now!” (STUD)
“Here you are, Holmes! Here it is!” (3GAR)
Finally he thrust the sharp point home, pressed down the tiny piston, and sank back. (SIGN) “And what do you think of it all, Watson?” asked Sherlock Holmes, leaning back in his chair. (SPEC)
“Wonderful!” I ejaculated. (STUD)
“I never get your limits, Watson,” said he. “There are unexplored possibilities about you.” (SUSS) The next moment he had staggered back to his bed, exhausted and panting after his one tremendous outflame of energy. (DYIN)

Tuesday, 15 January 2019

Monthly Meeting Minutes - 15th January 2019

The Shingle of Southsea Holmesian Society
Monthly Meeting Minutes

Date of Meeting: 15 January 2019

Location of Meeting:
The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for being a bit jittery but he explained he had been spending too much time trying to make a Holmesian chronology and now he was broken inside.

The Toasts:
"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) proposed the following toast to someone or something. It was difficult to tell because he kept crying:

Watson was a forgiving man
He stuck things no other man can
When Holmes shot at their wall
He did not mind at all

I have no last line, sorry.

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) between screams, proposed that it should be illegal to make a Holmesian chronology.

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) started trying to show some of the findings from his Holmesian chronology, but he ended up sort of laughing and crying at the same time before he curled up on the floor and tried to hide under the sofa.

Any Other Business:
I don't think so, somehow.