Tuesday, 24 January 2023

Monthly Meeting Minutes - 24th January 2023

Date of Meeting: 24th January 2023

 

Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) is sorry he ever ever started this obsession.

 

Motions:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) gave a condescending wave of his hand to indicate he was happy to proceed.


Presentation:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) presented the following paper on why Holmes is so boring:


What Does It Mean to be a Consulting Detective? 

 

The way Sherlock Holmes conducted the majority of his work seems to have been forgotten by the general public. Even some scholars of The Great Detective seem to ignore his bread-and-butter work. People have asked, for example, how Holmes funded his lifestyle when his investigations seem to take so long and he frequently accepts no payment for his services. Others have asked how Holmes could possibly fit in the many cases which Watson frequently suggests he undertook. 

For example: “…I have notes of many hundreds of cases…” (SECO), “…a travel-worn and battered tin dispatch-box… crammed with papers, nearly all of which are records of cases…” (THOR), “…I have a mass of material at my command…” (VEIL). 

When cases such as The Hound of the Baskervilles seem to have taken several weeks to solve, it seems unlikely that Watson could amass very much in the way of records during the “seventeen [years Watson] was allowed to cooperate with [Holmes] and to keep notes of his doings” (VEIL). 

 

This, of course, neglects the bread-and-butter work Holmes performed. Indeed, before Watson arrived on the scene, Holmes was far more like his brother Mycroft – a sedentary character, processing data and returning his verdict. Remember those first days in Baker Street when Watson was still trying to figure out what Holmes’s occupation was: 

 

During the first week or so we had no callers, and I had begun to think that my companion was as friendless a man as I was myself. Presently, however, I found that he had many acquaintances, and those in the most different classes of society. There was one little sallow rat-faced, dark-eyed fellow who was introduced to me as Mr. Lestrade, and who came three or four times in a single week. One morning a young girl called, fashionably dressed, and stayed for half an hour or more. The same afternoon brought a grey-headed, seedy visitor, looking like a Jew pedlar, who appeared to me to be much excited, and who was closely followed by a slipshod elderly woman. On another occasion an old white-haired gentleman had an interview with my companion; and on another a railway porter in his velveteen uniform. When any of these nondescript individuals put in an appearance, Sherlock Holmes used to beg for the use of the sitting-room, and I would retire to my bed-room. He always apologized to me for putting me to this inconvenience. "I have to use this room as a place of business," he said, "and these people are my clients." (STUD) 

 

Finally, Holmes confesses that he is “a consulting detective”. And it seems odd to me that, while most Holmesians can state this fact confidently, many seem to forget what it actually means. Policemen, private detectives and the general public DO come to him with their problems and mysteries. However, in most cases he does not run around investigating and solving the cases which are brought to him. He states this very clearly:  

 

"I listen to their story, they listen to my comments, and then I pocket my fee." (STUD) 

 

This is Holmes’s main source of income: short consultations for which he pockets a fee. He could certainly fit in a good many of these consultations per day, and it may well have proved highly profitable for him. Indeed, until Watson arrived on the scene, this was his preferred method of working. This can be seen by his admission that he can’t solve all cases without leaving his room – that occasionally he is forced to get out and seek data himself: 

 

“Now and again a case turns up which is a little more complex. Then I have to bustle about and see things with my own eyes. You see I have a lot of special knowledge which I apply to the problem, and which facilitates matters wonderfully.” (STUD) 

 

It is clear from his wording that these active cases are the exception. Far more frequently, we can infer, he can solve the whole matter from his chair. 

 

Most of our evidence for this early consulting detective work comes from one account – A Study in Scarlet. There is scant information about Holmes’s doings before this case. This is largely due to A Study in Scarlet being the adventure in which Holmes met his biographer – Dr John H. Watson. There are only two cases in The Canon which precede STUD. These are ‘The Gloria Scott’ and ‘The Musgrave Ritual’. 

 

‘The Gloria Scott’ is not tremendously salient to this discussion as it is set before Sherlock Holmes became a detective. Indeed, it isn’t really a “case” at all, Holmes just happened to be at hand when some mysterious events took place and was then summoned back by a friend who needed him. However, his actions in the case are indicative of how he would later conduct himself when he set up in business. All we see him do in terms of detective work is consider the evidence placed before him and give his findings. There is no running about, examining the scene of the crime or setting traps. He is, in essence, merely consulted. 

 

‘The Musgrave Ritual’, however, is a different kettle of fish. Holmes is very active in this case. Here, he travels to the site of the mystery where he performs physical investigations to arrive at a solution. However, upon examining the text it can be seen that Musgrave never expected Holmes to take such an active role. After seeing the Musgrave Ritual itself and determining that is was essentially a treasure map, Holmes has to seek Reginald Musgrave’s permission to visit his home: “…with your permission we will take the first train down to Sussex, and go a little more deeply into the matter upon the spot.” Indeed, all that Musgrave ever asked of Holmes was that he try to throw some light upon what he considered to be an inexplicable business. It seems, that even early on in his career, Holmes was aiming for the role of a consulting detective rather than a private investigator, and that his clients were aware of this. 

 

In fact, ‘The Musgrave Ritual’ provides some evidence that by Watson’s time, Holmes was very much established not as a consultant. Near the start of the account, he says to the good doctor: “You see me now when my name has become known far and wide, and when I am generally recognized both by the public and by the official force as being a final court of appeal in doubtful cases.” Note he claims to be recognised as a “court of appeal”. That is, he is well known as someone who considers the facts presented to him and offers his advice, as opposed to someone who actively investigates and brings things to a conclusion. 

 

From what I can see, when I read A Study in Scarlet, the only reason Holmes became more interested in his occasional active cases was because Watson showed him that they could be good fun. His decision to visit the scene of the first murder is preceded by the business regarding ‘The Book of Life’. This was a magazine article which Holmes brought to the attention of Watson. Unaware that Holmes was the author of the piece, Watson pooh-poohed the notion that an observant man could tell a great deal about other people just by looking at them. After some discussion of the topic, the Lauriston Garden Mystery is brought to Holmes’s attention. His first reaction is to say he is unlikely to attend the scene of the crime because he is “…the most incurably lazy devil that ever stood in shoe leather…”. Suddenly he changes his mind and says he will go, but he insists that Watson should accompany him. Although it is not explicitly stated, this has always read to me as if Holmes was only prepared to actively investigate this case in order to prove a point to Watson. He wanted to show his companion the truth of his claims in ‘The Book of Life’. There follows a good deal of investigating, hunting, induction, abduction, deduction, trap setting, and fighting. By the end of all this activity Watson is forced to accept the truth of Holmes’s article. But it goes both ways: Holmes is forced to admit something too. He says that he “would not have missed the investigation for anything. There has been no better case within my recollection. Simple as it was, there were several most instructive points about it.” Or to put it more plainly – he had fun. It was Watson, then, who gave Holmes a reason to conduct the occasional active case. 

 

In The Canon we are mostly being given an insight into the rare cases -  those which Holmes embarked upon, not because they were his bread-and-butter work, but because he found them fun. The disguises and tricks of ‘A Scandal in Bohemia’, the trap setting of ‘The Red-Headed League’ and the fisticuffs and gunfire of ‘The Solitary Cyclist’ are all examples of cases Holmes took on so that he and Watson could have fun. 

 

That said, there are parts of The Canon which show Holmes performing his consultancy work. ‘A Case of Identity’, for example, is very much an account of a consulting detective at work. Holmes is given most of the evidence by Mary Sutherland, he sends telegrams to collect the remaining details and then he presents his solution (albeit to the wrong person). There is no activity on his part. He solves the case exactly how he told Watson he solves most crimes: “There is a strong family resemblance about misdeeds, and if you have all the details of a thousand at your finger ends, it is odd if you can't unravel the thousand and first,” (STUD). Compare this with what he says of Mary Sutherland’s problem: “…her little problem, which, by the way, is rather a trite one. You will find parallel cases, if you consult my index, in Andover in '77, and there was something of the sort at The Hague last year.” Indeed, Holmes’s work as a consultant is hinted at in many of the other Canonical accounts. Frequently the tales start with Holmes in a very passive role until events force him to take physical action. We see this, for example, in ‘The Five Orange Pips’, ‘The Copper Beeches’, ‘The Greek Interpreter’ and ‘The Dancing Men’. I am sure these are not the only examples. 

 

All this said, it is understandable that people forget what Holmes really did for a living. His consultancy work would generally have made for a very dull narrative: someone comes in, Holmes listens to their problem and then tells them the solution. Even Watson would have a hard time making an exciting read out of them. Indeed, Watson said in ‘Thor Bridge’, regarding the case notes to be found in his tin dispatch box: “Some, and not the least interesting, were complete failures…” In saying that the failures were not “the least interesting” he is also indicating that at least some of the cases were not interesting. In ‘The Veiled Lodger’ he admits to us that when picking which cases he would write up from the many in his notes “the problem has always been not to find but to choose.” Given that he had some amount of choice, it is hardly likely that Watson would choose the dull cases to write up. This is what leads us to an incorrect bias in our picture of Holmes at work. To summarise: 

 


  1. The majority of Holmes’s work was consultancy work. A small amount of his work was active.
  2. The consultancy work tended to be unexciting.
  3. Watson only wrote about Holmes’s exciting work.
  4. Therefore, Watson only wrote about the uncharacteristically active or exciting cases. 
  5. Watson was Holmes’s sole biographer.
  6. Therefore, the student of Holmesiana only has Watson’s account to judge Holmes by.
  7. Therefore, the student of Holmesiana only has the uncharacteristically active or exciting cases as evidence of Holmes’s methods. 
  8. Therefore, the student of Holmesiana comes to regard Holmes as a much more active detective than the passive consulting detective he really was. 

 

It is Holmes running across the moor to save a man from a demon dog that we are familiar with, not the unrecorded consultant charging a healthy fee for a brief conversation. But by neglecting his boring day-to-day work, we are remembering a fraction of the man as he really was. This is what leads us to forget exactly what Holmes meant when he called himself “a consulting detective”. 

 

The alert Holmesian will no doubt take issue with my claim above that Watson was Holmes’s sole biographer. Rightly so. ‘The Blanched Soldier’ and ‘The Lion’s Mane’ are, of course, auto-biographical accounts of Holmes’s adventures. ‘The Lion’s Mane’ could be discounted if one were so inclined – this is a story about Holmes in retirement. He was no longer a consulting detective when these events took place. However, in it we still see elements of Holmes operating as a consultant would. Most of his mystery solving is performed in this story by him being presented with evidence by other people and then weighing up what it means. True, he examines the body of McPherson and the scene of the mystery. But this is merely due to McPherson dying right in front of him – Holmes was already on scene; he didn’t travel there. He also travels to the Bellamy household, but when he gets there, he plays a passive role, simply listening to their testimony. To be fair, once the problem is solved, Holmes does become active again – he travels to the bathing pool and kills the Lion’s Mane jellyfish – but it is to be remembered that this menace had killed one of his friends, so a little more than usual personal involvement is understandable. 

 

‘Blanched Soldier’ too, contains a great deal of consulting detective work. Holmes explains his method at the end of his account and admits that he had come to his conclusions before he ever set foot outside 221b. The only reason he travelled to the Emsworth residence was because Colonel Emsworth proved such a barrier to everyone else. Holmes was compelled to deal with the man directly. 

 

Two other cases bear mention, as it is unclear who wrote them. ‘His Last Bow’ and ‘The Mazarin Stone’ are unusual in that they are written in the third person. My personal belief is that they were written by Watson, but he wrote them in this manner in order to make it clear that he was not present for many of the events and was forced to rely on Holmes and others filling in the gaps in his knowledge. ‘His Last Bow’ may be dismissed from consideration. Holmes was not working as a consulting detective during this adventure – he was called out of his retirement to work as a secret agent on behalf of his country. ‘Mazarin Stone’ is of more interest. We learn that Holmes was very active indeed in this case. He had been tailing his suspect in a variety of disguises for several days. As with other cases which Watson wrote up, this was one of the exceptions. In fact, if my theory that Watson is the author of this account is correct, it goes someway to demonstrating how boring most of Holmes’s other cases were. That is, he chose to write up a case which he had little direct involvement in, as opposed to the many dull cases he had witnessed at first hand. 

 

Of course, one then begins to wonder exactly why Watson kept so many notes about the dull cases. His tin dispatch-box was crammed with jottings about Holmes’s consultations – most of which, as we have seen, would have been utterly tedious. At some point he must have realised he would never use them. You might expect him to stop taking notes the moment he realised a client was bringing Holmes another quick-chat sort of a problem. But those in the Sherlockian community who have been bitten by the collector bug know how these things go. It can be difficult to let any piece of Sherlockiana escape you, no matter how low it is in quality. Watson was the first Sherlockian, and he seems to have been no different to the rest of us in his collecting mania.

 

(Addendum: The interested reader may wish to supplement this paper by listening to this episode of Trifles: https://www.sherlockholmespodcast.com/2023/01/episode-317-detective-by-any-other-name.html which coincidentally contradicts many of the claims I made here by highlighting other salient parts of The Canon.)


Any other business:

No one was left awake to raise any other business.

Thursday, 15 December 2022

Monthly Meeting Minutes - 15th December 2022

 Date of Meeting: 15th December 2022

 

Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

No time.

 

Motions:

No time.


Presentation:

We didn't have much spare time this month, so we kept it brief. "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) presented the following festive treat:




It's Christmas time - a special time

With tinsel and with stars.

A time when friends can give each other

Pickled eggs in jars.

 

Any other business:

No time.


Wednesday, 16 November 2022

Monthly Meeting Minutes - 16th November 2022

Date of Meeting: 16th November 2022

 

Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

No thank you.

 

Motions:

No thank you.


Presentation:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) presented a poem he wrote about alphabetical animals from the Canon:


Holmesian Alphabetical Animals

 
A is first and is for ASS.
    Watson claimed he was one.
(He, of course, meant the donkey
    And not the slang for bum).
“What an ass I have been!”
    He cried out just the once.
For Watson really was not all
    That much of a dunce.
 “Oh, what an ass I have been!” I exclaimed. (REIG)
 
B is FOR the BABOON
    Found at Stoke Moran
Brought over from India
    By a very evil man.
This writhing little primate
    Gave Watson a start
When he sprang from the bushes in
    A frenzied sudden dart.
…out from a clump of laurel bushes there darted what seemed to be a hideous and distorted child, who threw itself upon the grass with writhing limbs and then ran swiftly across the lawn into the darkness…
“It is a nice household,” he murmured. “That is the baboon.” (SPEC)
 
C is for the CHEETAH,
    One more Roylott pet.
He prowled the grounds unrestrained
    At Stoke Moran and yet
Neither of our heroes
    Ever spied the large feline.
They heard it, though, when at night
    It once gave out a whine.
“From outside came… a long drawn catlike whine, which told us that the cheetah was indeed at liberty.” (SPEC)
 
D is for the famous DOG
    Who did nowt in the night -
Not a bark, a whine or howl
    Not a growl or bite.
This was the clue Holmes needed
    To help him solve the case
Of the evil murder horse
    Who kicks men in the face.
“Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?”
“To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.”
“The dog did nothing in the night-time.” (SILV)
 
E is for the EAGLES
    Flocking about with crows
Though only metaphorically -
    A simple line of prose.
In fact, eagles never flock,
    They’re more often alone.
But Holmes was no keen bird-watcher,
    I doubt he would have known.
“Sir Robert is a man of an honourable stock. But you do occasionally find a carrion crow among the eagles.” (SHOS)
 
F is for the FERRET,
    Watson said Lestrade looked like.
He meant it as a compliment,
    Not some nasty slight.
Lean, agile and furtive.
    Sly looking as well.
Qualities which helped him put
    The criminals in cells.
A lean, ferret-like man, furtive and sly-looking, was waiting for us upon the platform… I had no difficulty in recognising Lestrade, of Scotland Yard.(BOSC)
 
G is for a GUDGEON –
    A small, freshwater fish,
In Watson’s time it could be found
    Served up on a dish.
Sam Merton was compared to one.
    You’ll agree to the match:
Sam was a common type, you see,
    And dead easy to catch.
“Sam's not a shark. He is a great big silly bull-headed gudgeon. But he is flopping about in my net all the same.” (MAZA)
 
H is, of course, for the HOUND
    Of the Baskervilles -
The dark curse of that family,
    The cause of all their ills.
It stalks all over Dartmoor
    With a fire in its eyes
Scaring the timid locals
    With its loathsome evil cries.
“Hugo Baskerville passed me upon his black mare, and there ran mute behind him such a hound of hell as God forbid should ever be at my heels.” (HOUN)
 
I is for an ICHNEUMON.
    (That’s a mongoose to you.)
Henry Wood had a pet one.
    (And a cobra too.)
He named his mongoose Teddy.
    It was amazing quick
To catch the cobra every night
    As a canteen trick.
“It's a mongoose,” I cried.
“Well, some call them that, and some call them ichneumon,” said the man. “Snake-catcher is what I call them.” (CROO)
 
J is for the JACKALS
    Who ate poor Mrs. Dawson.
She failed, in the Mutiny,
    To take the precaution
Of not being a colonist
    Who made the locals mad.
Mind you, the jackals got a meal,
    So, it was not all bad.
“I rode down to see what it was, and the cold struck through my heart when I found it was Dawson's wife, all cut into ribbons, and half eaten by jackals and native dogs.” (SIGN)
 
K is for a little KID
    (That’s a goat as a child)
Led to a jungle tree somewhere
    Out there in the wild
By the hunter - Colonel Moran -
    To be tied to a tree
For bait to tempt the tigers
    That he shoots at with glee.
“Have you not tethered a young kid under a tree, lain above it with your rifle, and waited for the bait to bring up your tiger? This empty house is my tree and you are my tiger.” (EMPT)
 
L is for the LANGUR –
    An Old-World primate.
The grey ones are all fairly small
    And they have a black face.
Old Presbury was one of this
    Monkey’s greatest fans.
He liked to mash up and inject
    Their little monkey glands.
“It is possible that the serum of anthropoid would have been better. I have, as I explained to you, used black-faced langur because a specimen was accessible. Langur is, of course, a crawler and climber, while anthropoid walks erect and is in all ways nearer.” (CREE)
 
M is for the MICROBES,
    Such as the ones curated
By a nephew killer
    At once dreaded and hated.
Culverton Smith knowingly
    Amassed and abused them.
People close to him dropped dead
    Whenever he used them.
“For him the villain, for me the microbe.” (DYIN)
 
N is for a NIGHT-BIRD.
    (Although that’s unspecific
“Night-bird” starts with letter N
    Which, for me, is terrific.)
It could be a night-jar.
    It could be an owl.
In fact, it could be any
    Of the nocturnal fowl.
“From outside came the occasional cry of a night-bird...” (SPEC)
 
O is for the OXEN
    On the Alkali Plain
Which passers-by might observe
    Ev’ry now and again.
They’re dead. They’re desiccated.
    Mostly rotted away.
Nothing more than sun-bleached bones.
    What fun! Hip hip hooray!
They are bones: some large and coarse, others smaller and more delicate. The former have belonged to oxen, and the latter to men. (STUD)
 
P is for a great big PIG.
    Come near! Just take a look!
Sherlock’s suspended this big pig
    From a butcher’s hook.
Watch him as he tries and tries –
    Like a frenzied buffoon –
To transfix the hanging hog
    With a whaling harpoon.
“If you could have looked into Allardyce's back shop you would have seen a dead pig swung from a hook in the ceiling, and a gentleman in his shirt-sleeves furiously stabbing at it with this weapon.” (BLAC)
 
Q is a QUEER MONGREL.
    Toby is his name.
He has such a splendid nose
    It has garnered him fame.
By tracking across London
    A trail of creosote
He led Holmes and Watson
    To Mordecai Smith’s boat.
“You will bring Toby back in the cab with you.”
“A dog, I suppose.”
“Yes,—a queer mongrel, with a most amazing power of scent. I would rather have Toby's help than that of the whole detective force of London.” (SIGN)
 
R is for a giant RAT
    Of origins Sumatran.
The details of it are so sparse
    They will always dishearten
Any inquiring scholar
    Who is set and intent
On learning more about this
    Large Asian rodent.
“Matilda Briggs was not the name of a young woman, Watson,” said Holmes in a reminiscent voice. “It was a ship which is associated with the giant rat of Sumatra, a story for which the world is not yet prepared.” (SUSS)
 
S is for a captive STOAT –
    Kept in a little cage
In Sherman’s shop where it fills up
    With anger, ire and rage.
It waits in patience by the bars
    With a gleam in its eye
And tries to bite a chunk out of
    Any passers-by.
“Ah, naughty, naughty, would you take a nip at the gentleman?” This to a stoat which thrust its wicked head and red eyes between the bars of its cage. (SIGN)
 
T is for the TIGER CUB
    Which Watson once fired
At an invading musket. Or
    So he claimed while tired.
It is small wonder really
    That Watson would err – he
Was talking with his one true love:
    A governess called Mary.
I endeavored to cheer and amuse her by reminiscences of my adventures in Afghanistan... To this day she declares that I told her one moving anecdote as to how a musket looked into my tent at the dead of night, and how I fired a double-barrelled tiger cub at it. (SIGN)
 
U is for a UNICORN.
    (Yes, I know that they’re not real.
But you try finding U beasts
    And then see how you feel.)
In the canon, there’s one unicorn
    Though preceded by “sea”,
It’s the name of Black Peter’s boat
    Which is good enough for me.
“Peter Carey was master of the Sea Unicorn” (BLAC)
 
V is for a VIPER,
    Sometimes mispronounced
(“I have a wiper in the bag”
    Is what Sherman announced).
Snakes with deadly venom and
    Snakes with fatal bites,
Are not something that one should drop
    On Watson in the night.
“Go on!” yelled the voice. “So help me gracious, I have a wiper in the bag, an' I'll drop it on your 'ead if you don't hook it.” (SIGN)
 
W is for some WORMS –
    The kind which gnaw on wood.
Butler Brunton found some while
    He was up to no good.
They’d destroyed the wooden box,
    Which among other things,
Held the remains of the crown
    Of ancient English kings.
“It was furred outside by a thick layer of dust, and damp and worms had eaten through the wood, so that a crop of livid fungi was growing on the inside of it.” (MUSG)
 
X is for XENOPERDIX –
    A partridge much adored.
Like the one Holmes once left out
    Upon his sideboard.
(Though, perhaps it’s only fair
    That I should make it clear
Xenoperdix are a breed
    Found just in Tanzania).
“There is a cold partridge on the sideboard, Watson, and a bottle of Montrachet. Let us renew our energies before we make a fresh call upon them.” (VEIL)
 
Y is for the YELLOW BAND
    Wrapped round Roylott’s head
The serpent that bit him and
    Struck the blackguard dead.
An Indian Swamp Adder –
    Holmes clearly named it so.
Though no such snake really exists,
    As far as science knows.
Round his brow he had a peculiar yellow band, with brownish speckles, which seemed to be bound tightly round his head. As we entered he made neither sound nor motion.
“The band! the speckled band!” whispered Holmes. (SPEC)
 
 
Z is for the ZOO, that is
    The one where Sherlock went.
The one where he gazed horrified
    At myriad serpents.
They were slithery and wicked with
    Cruel eyes on flattened faces -
Reminiscent of The Blackmailer
    From one of Holmes’s cases.
“Do you feel a creeping, shrinking sensation, Watson, when you stand before the serpents in the Zoo and see the slithery, gliding, venomous creatures, with their deadly eyes and wicked, flattened faces? Well, that's how Milverton impresses me.” (CHAS)
 
Thus ends my safari
    Through the alphabet
Of Holmesian creatures
    And Sherlockian pets.
I did my best though I confess,
    Others could do better.
So now you try name a beast
    From Canon for each letter.

 

Any other business:

No thank you.


Thursday, 6 October 2022

Monthly Meeting Minutes - 6th October 2022

 Date of Meeting: 6th October 2022

 

Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for breaking that lamp with a yo-yo.

 

Motions:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) moved and accidently let one go.


 Presentation:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) presented a film he had made about Holmesian Yo-Yo Tricks:

 

Any other business:

No new business so I'll just keeping plugging this tat... Buy my book. It is available from all the Amazon sites…

UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0B146NCY8

US - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B146NCY8

Canada - https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B0B146NCY8

Australia - https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B0B146NCY8

And, you know, all the others. Searching for B0B146NCY8 seems to be the key. Or 979-8824511970.

Friday, 2 September 2022

Monthly Meeting Minutes - 2nd September 2022

Date of Meeting: 2nd September 2022

 

Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised to Richard Krisciunas. Unfortunately, because Richard Krisciunas is banned from The Sherloft, Richard Krisciunas did not hear the apology.

 

Motions:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) moved that we should have more yo-yos because "nothing seems as bad when you have a yo-yo". No one seconded the motion. "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) carried on playing with his yo-yo anyway.


 Presentation:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) gave a confusing talk about stuff:


Fine Sea Stories

There are a good deal of references to the ocean, ships and sea-faring folk in The Canon. An almost suspicious amount of references, in fact. It was while contemplating one of the least satisfactory of the Canonical boats that I hit upon the a realisation about the reach of Sherlock Holmes.

The Five Orange Pips ends very anti-climatically. Having identified the villains, Holmes seemingly failed to catch them and bring them to justice. Instead, fate did this for him: their ship – the Lone Star – was wrecked somewhere in the Atlantic and all hands aboard were lost.

This is not an isolated incident – the same thing happened to the Norah Creina which was helping the killers of Blessington escape justice in The Resident Patient.

Mulling over these lackluster finales led me to consider how unHolmesian they are. When reports came in that these ships had been lost, Holmes seems to have been content that his suspects were probably, maybe, perhaps dead and just moves along to his next adventure. Would he really be satisfied with these results? Patently not. Consider his emotional response to finding out that the KKK had murdered John Openshaw:

“That hurts my pride, Watson,” he said at last. “It is a petty feeling, no doubt, but it hurts my pride. It becomes a personal matter with me now, and, if God sends me health, I shall set my hand upon this gang”

This is a man desperate to dish out justice. And we know from elsewhere in The Canon that Holmes was a passionate sort of fellow who would take the law into his own hands when he felt himself better capable of distributing justice than the official means. We see examples of this in the pseudo-court scene at the end of Abbey Grange and the “accidental” killing of Roylott in Speckled Band.

Yet, when the Lone Star failed to arrive in Savannah, he seems to have done nothing to follow the matter up. It is as if he is an entirely different person. The only tolerable explanation for such an insipid response from Holmes is that he knew more than he was letting on. That is, he already knew that the Lone Star and the Norah Creina had been destroyed long before he received the official reports. Furthermore, he knew for certain that his fleeing suspects had been destroyed along with their vessels.

How could he possibly know such things before anyone else? If the ships were destroyed – no one from them could have got news to Holmes. The news then, could only come from people who witnessed the destruction of the ships from another vessel. But the official reports never came from such sources – in the case of the Lone Star the news only came out due to the discovery of some driftwood bearing its initials some time later. So whoever told Holmes that the Lone Star sank, did not inform the authorities or anyone else. Nor, it seems, did they attempt to save any of its crew. Hardly the actions of innocent bystanders. The inference from this is that the observers were not innocent – that they were responsible for the sinking of those ships. And if they were secretly passing this news to Holmes, then Holmes also had a hand in the destruction of these vessels.

My theory then, is this, Holmes had a sea-faring accomplice who assisted him in his maritime endeavours. Holmes ordered this accomplice to sink the Lone Star when it seemed the villains aboard might evade justice. He did the same for the Norah Creina. Who knows how many other cases they became involved in?

For example, The Greek Interpreter is another case with an unsatisfactory end - the villains escaping capture and kidnapping Sophy Kratides. Justice once again comes, seemingly, without Holmes’s intervention - a newspaper report suggests that Sophy killed her captors in Buda-Pesth and ran away. In light of what we now know, is it not more likely that Holmes used his accomplice once again. I picture a daring assassination and the freeing of Sophy, before all concerned then flee on a vessel moored on the Danube.

What part might this accomplice have played in the disappearance of the cutter Alicia (THOR), the affair of the Dutch steamship Friedland (NORW), the case of Matilda Briggs (SUSS) or the loss of the British barque Sophy Anderson (FIVE)? This oceanic reach Holmes seemed to have, suddenly becomes more understandable.

My mind is cast back to the exciting riverboat chase on the Thames in The Sign of the Four. In retrospect, it seems unlikely that Holmes would have had no contingency plan in case the Aurora evaded capture and managed to reach the Esmerelda. Now it seems obvious - the accomplice was almost certainly out at sea keeping an eye on the Esmerelda in case it needed to be dealt with.

Of course, if all this is true, we must wonder what on Earth was going on in the Adventure of the Cardboard Box. Having identified the villain – Jim Browner – aboard the May Day, Holmes allows the vessel to safely land at Albert Dock. Why the lack of interception this time? There are a couple of possible explanations but the most likely one is that the heavy handed approach was not appropriate. Jim Browner was the only criminal aboard. In the other cases I have mentioned, it is likely that the entire crews of the vessels were culpable in some way. They all deserved Holmes’s justice. The crew of the May Day did not.

With the evidence mounting in favour of this nautical accomplice, I found that yet another unsatisfactory ending made more sense. At the end of The Valley of Fear Holmes rather callously receives news that John Douglas has been killed while fleeing Europe aboard the Palmyra:

“The ship reached Cape Town last night. I received this cable from Mrs. Douglas this morning:—

“Jack has been lost overboard in gale off St. Helena. No one knows how accident occurred.

— “Ivy Douglas.”

“Ha! It came like that, did it?” said Holmes, thoughtfully. “Well, I've no doubt it was well stage-managed.”

Rather than exhibit the outrage he did over John Openshaw’s death, Holmes laughs and compliments how well it was done. It is neither appropriate nor in character. Unless his accomplice had secretly been at work again…

Consider the facts of the case – John Douglas was being hunted by Moriarty’s gang on behalf of The Scowrers. In order to escape their clutches, he attempted to fake his own death. Holmes blundered slightly by exposing this scheme, thereby once again endangering John Douglas’s life. He was most assuredly aware of this:

“Get him out of England at any cost,” wrote Holmes to the wife. “There are forces here which may be more dangerous than those he has escaped. There is no safety for your husband in England.”

Would he then leave Douglas to Moriarty’s clutches? Or would he try to outwit the Napoleon of crime? Obviously, Holmes acted somehow. And now we can see how. Holmes had his accomplice follow the Palmyra and when Moriarty’s henchmen fought with Douglas onboard, Douglas, as planned, “accidentally” lost his footing and went overboard. The henchmen reported back to Moriarty that the deed was done. Little did they know the accomplice was on hand to fish Douglas out of the sea and sail him off to meet his wife in Cape Town where they adopted yet more aliases and began yet another new life.

At this point, I consider my point proven – Holmes had secret help at sea from some unnamed accomplice. The question now becomes “Who were they”? I have one proposal.

The Greek Interpreter makes it very clear that Holmes was reticent on the topic of his family. Before he was introduced to Mycroft Holmes, Watson “had come to believe that [Sherlock Holmes] was an orphan with no relatives living”. Combining this information with some off-hand comments Holmes made regarding his sister in Copper Beeches (“…it is not the situation which I should like to see a sister of mine apply for.”), it is tempting to propose the existence of a third Holmes sibling. Specifically a sister.

But whereas Holmes eventually does speak to Watson about his brother, the sister is never mentioned. Why might this be? I suggest that this is because she was not an entirely above-board sort of person, that is, she was the nautical accomplice. We can see that in the cases of the Lone Star and Norah Creina she was not above sinking other vessels. If I am correct about her involvement in the deaths of Sophy Kratides captors, she was also an adept assassin. In short, Miss Holmes was practically a pirate. Of course, Holmes could not speak of his connections with her. Those connections were not just familial – they were also criminal.

Further, I would say that the notion of The Pirate Miss Holmes actually makes sense when you consider the personality of Sherlock Holmes. If she was even half as Bohemian as her brother, she would have had a hard time dealing with the constraints of Victorian sensibilities regarding the role of women in society. Running away to sea and choosing a life of adventure would absolutely be in keeping for such a woman. That she stayed in touch with her brother and assisted him in his work also indicates that she shared his passion for justice and for endeavouring to make the world a better place.

In conclusion, I feel that I have sufficiently proven that Sherlock Holmes had a sister who was both his accomplice and a pirate. Assuming that she was as much an interesting character as her two brothers, it is to be hoped that she had her own Boswell somewhere aboard her vessel. I for one would pay a hefty fee to read The Adventures of Swashbuckling Sherrinford – the Sea-Salty Sister of Sherlock.


 

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