The Shingle of Southsea Holmesian Society
Monthly Meeting Minutes
Date of Meeting: 13th February 2020
Location of Meeting:
The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK
Attendees:
"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller), "The Blank Page" (Brenda Mannequin)
Apologies:
"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for interrupting the apologies with some emergency business.
Emergency Business:
"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) stated that the trial of an expanded membership had been a failure. He stated that "The Blank Page" (Brenda Mannequin) had brought nothing but an uneasy silence to meetings. "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) moved that "The Blank Page" (Brenda Mannequin) be expelled immediately from the society and all meetings. The members voted on this motion. There was one abstention and one vote to expel "The Blank Page" (Brenda Mannequin). "The Blank Page" (Brenda Mannequin) was immediately expelled.
It was further decided that in future any females entering The Sherloft during meetings would at the very least have to wear a mustache and pretend to be a man.
It was then decided to fill the spot vacated by Brenda Mannequin with the jar of pickled eggs I bought from Lidl on the way home from work.
Attendees Again:
"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)
Presentation:
In honour of it nearly being St. Valentine's Day, "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) presented a love poem he had written.
A Love Poem
From a Member to his Holmesian Society
Upon Valentine's Day I pause to reflect
On a great love which I may elsewise neglect,
A love that is perfect to the point of piety:
That which I have for my Holmesian Society.
The Shingle of Southsea!
I sing your praise.
How do I love thee?
Shall I count the ways?
I love thee for being located so close -
The loft of my house is where we meet most.
I love thee for being free of rude tempers,
For other than me there are no members.
I love thee for accepting all that I offer
Whether well written or poor and improper.
I love thee for not letting my children in -
My society protects me from their constant din.
I love thee also for the secreted stash
Of well-aged cheap port behind the calabash.
But most of all, I love the Shingle of Southsea
For the free pickled eggs with which it surrounds me.
Any Other Business:
"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) made it known that he was overjoyed that the society was back to normal.
