Wednesday, 21 January 2026

Monthly Meeting Minutes – 21st January 2026

Date of Meeting: 21st January 2026


Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for the way he felt about that thing you are wrong about.

 

Toast:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) toasted thusly:


It is too much to hope for

That Holmes could open up my door

And step inside and then proclaim

"Sherlock Holmes is my name!"


Because I do not own any doors.

 

Presentation:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) presented his evidence for his Holmesdini Theory:


My Holmesdini Theory

 

It would seem, from the text, that Holmes had an innate ability with lock picking. In CHAS 1:297-301, Watson speaks about Holmes tackling Charles Augustus Milverton’s safe:

“I knew that the opening of safes was a particular hobby with him, and I understood the joy which it gave him to be confronted with this green and gold monster… Holmes laid out two drills, a jemmy, and several skeleton keys… For half an hour Holmes worked with concentrated energy, laying down one tool, picking up another, handling each with the strength and delicacy of the trained mechanic. Finally I heard a click, the broad green door swung open…”

There are also several instances of Holmes exhibiting a flair for breaking into places. He broke into Hugo Oberstein’s home in BRUC. In RETI 1:369 he admits “Burglary has always been an alternative profession had I cared to adopt it, and I have little doubt that I should have come to the front.” And back in CHAS 1:218 Holmes shows Watson the gear he has for just this purpose:

“This is a first-class, up-to-date burgling kit, with nickel-plated jemmy, diamond-tipped glass-cutter, adaptable keys, and every modern improvement which the march of civilization demands.”

As well as being a lock-breaker, Holmes was also something of a showman. As Watson observed in SCAN 2:147: “The stage lost a fine actor, even as science lost an acute reasoner, when he became a specialist in crime.”

And Holmes would be the first to admit this is the case. “…Watson here will tell you that I never can resist a touch of the dramatic.” said he in NAVA 1:761. Again, in EMPT 1:92 he refers to his “…unnecessarily dramatic reappearance.”

He is also often regarded as something of a magician. Bob Ferguson described Holmes as  “…this gentleman, who seems to have powers of magic” (SUSS 1:501). “Why, you are like a magician,” said Mary Holder in BERY 1:346. And in NORW 1:448, Watson describes how “Holmes stood before us with the air of a conjurer who is performing a trick.”

Combining these aspects of Holmes’ skill set, it is difficult not to be drawn to thoughts of another so-gifted individual of the time: Harry Houdini. The only real difference is that Holmes was adept at breaking in and Houdini was adept at breaking out.

Having noticed this, I took a slightly closer peek and saw some interesting cross-overs in the duos timelines. To begin with, Houdini’s career in magic started in 1891. This is the same year that Holmes disappeared and began the period known as The Great Hiatus. It is to be remembered that the version of his travels Holmes gave when he reappeared in 1894 was rather fanciful. He claimed to have been to places that were barred to Westerners at that time.

“I travelled for two years in Tibet, therefore, and amused myself by visiting Lhassa and spending some days with the head Llama… I then passed through Persia, looked in at Mecca, and paid a short but interesting visit to the Khalifa at Khartoum, the results of which I have communicated to the Foreign Office.” – EMPT 1:179-181

This journey would have been impossible for someone like Holmes.

The conclusion is obvious – in reality Holmes travelled to New York where he began to create a back story for a new identity – Harry Houdini. Using his dramatic skills, natural lock picking abilities and natural magician like ways, he became the famous conjurer who specialised in daring escapes.

The benefits of this deception, as will be seen, are that he could establish an important connection with America and still be able to travel the world without arousing suspicions. In short, I believe he saw the First World War approaching and was doing his bit for British espionage.

In 1893 Houdini married Wilhelmina Beatrice Rahner, better known as Bess. Now, we know that for Holmes romantic emotions “were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind.” (SCAN 1:5) So what on Earth was he doing marrying? This is of course a sham marriage, designed to cover up Holmes’ employment of an agent to assist in his work. A similar example of this can be seen with the character of Martha in LAST. You see, in 1894 Holmes returned to London. He needed Bess on the other side of the Atlantic to convince people Houdini was still about and to relay any necessary information back and forth.

This pretence was kept up for a few years, but in 1899 Houdini began to be famous. This is the point in time when Holmes’ casework began to dwindle. Watson only recorded one adventure in 1899 (RETI). This is because Holmes was mostly busy in America where, as Houdini, he was high demand at top vaudeville houses across the country. 1900, however, saw Houdini set sail for  England – where he spent a lot of time for several years. He also travelled all over Europe in this time and made repeated returns back to America. This gave him a few occasions when he could return to Baker Street as Holmes, but not many. And so, we see SIXN and THOR in 1900, PRIO in 1901 and 2GAR, 3GAB, ILLU and REDC in 1902. In the year of Holmes’ retirement, 1903, he undertook only three cases – BLAN, MAZA and CREE.

This was now a time of growing tensions in Europe. The ability to pass borders uncontested would have made Holmes a rather good agent for intelligence gathering on behalf of the British Government. Especially as Houdini’s shows attracted some rather important people. He toured Germany and Russia. He performed for the Russian Imperial Family in 1903 and is believed to have conversed with the Tsar. Who knows what intelligence he gathered on these occasions. In each city he visited, Houdini challenged local police to restrain him with shackles and lock him in their jails. What a great way to find out about the layout of important buildings and the facilities they have!

After his 1903 retirement, Holmes was rather absent from the public eye. In 1907 he described how “Watson had passed almost beyond [his] ken.” (LION 1:3) It was easier now for Holmes to adopt the personality of Houdini on an almost permanent basis. Houdini began travelling all over the place – no continents or countries seemed barred to him. In this disguise Holmes was able to go everywhere and hear everything with no one suspecting anything.

In 1913 Houdini’s mother died and a mourning Houdini travelled back to the US where his career seems to have quietened down a bit. Obviously, Houdini wasn’t a real person and so had no mother. This was an excuse to put Houdini on the back burner for a bit while Holmes was transitioning to yet another personality – that of Altamont. He describes this period to Watson in LAST 1:378-379:

“It has cost me two years, Watson, but they have not been devoid of excitement. When I say that I started my pilgrimage at Chicago, graduated in an Irish secret society at Buffalo, gave serious trouble to the constabulary at Skibbareen, and so eventually caught the eye of a subordinate agent of Von Bork, who recommended me as a likely man, you will realize that the matter was complex.”

It's plain enough what Holmes did. As a mourning Houdini he travelled to New York and let Houdini fade from public view a little. He then skipped across to Chicago and began creating the back story for Altamont.

The Altamont episode of Holmes’ life was not a new vocation, then. He had been practicing this sort of espionage for a long time previously. Indeed, this is probably why he only required two years to worm his way so thoroughly into the confidences of the Kaiser’s network. The achievements of Holmes, as Altamont, are a matter of record. What was not previously on record were the years of preparatory work that Holmes had undertaken before the invention of Altamont.

So far, the dates make my findings indisputable. But one may offer a criticism of how different in appearance Holmes and Houdini were.

Houdini was described as short, stocky and bow-legged. Holmes was tall and gaunt. However, Holmes was also a master of disguise. In EMPT 1:103 he managed to “a foot off his stature” to disguise himself as an old book seller. And it is much easier for a thin man to disguise himself as portly that the other way around. As for the bowlegs, this would have been no challenge to Holmes – “Malingering is a subject upon which I have sometimes thought of writing a monograph.” (DYIN 1:524)

Following the events of LAST, it seems Holmes chose to remain in the Houdini character - Houdini is far more traceable in the history books than Holmes is. It is notable though that he couldn’t entirely resist reuniting with old friends. In 1920 Houdini is supposed to have met Arthur Conan Doyle for the first time. Their friendship was rather famous at the time – they even holidayed together. This was, of course, Holmes reuniting with an old friend, for Doyle had always acted as Watson’s literary agent – there is no possibility that they had never met before. No doubt they also met up with Watson, but this was kept quiet – if photos had been published of Watson meeting up with Houdini, someone would notice that Houdini had a keen, sharp-chinned, sharp-cheek-boned face housing bright alert eyes that were rather reminiscent of a certain consulting detective…




 

Any Other Business:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) thinks it is a shame and said as much and tutted.

Saturday, 13 December 2025

Monthly Meeting Minutes – 13th December 2025

Date of Meeting: 13th December 2025


Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for the fact that auto-tune couldn't even make his voice in tune.

 

Toast:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) ate a toast sandwich

 

Presentation:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) presented a Holmesian song for Christmas:


 

Any Other Business:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) has run out of time and funds so this'll have to do for this month.

Tuesday, 18 November 2025

Monthly Meeting Minutes – 18th November 2025

Date of Meeting: 18th November 2025


Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologises to no man.

 

Toast:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) offered the following toast in the form of a clerihew:


John Bennett Shaw

Was a Sherlockian who people adore.

His impact is felt to this day

Because he was a rather fun sort of a person, or at least that's what people say.


And then this one:


John Bennett Shaw

Had a Holmesian attitude of "Open the door!" 

It is a strange thing to mourn someone you never knew

But I do.


 

Presentation:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) presented a PDF of the document he had been working on with the help of 14 lovely Sherlockians from outside The Shingle. It is a document produced in memory of Shaw and inspired by his Basic Holmesian Library lists.


You can view it by clicking HERE.

Or a simpler categorised list format is available HERE.

 

Any Other Business:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) had no business like other business like no business he knows.

Sunday, 26 October 2025

Monthly Meeting Minutes – 26th October 2025

Date of Meeting: 26th October 2025


Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for doing more singing when he knows damn well he can't sing.

 

Toast:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) gave the following toast:


The Canon never once imparts

The details of people's farts.

No man or woman, no horse or hound

Is ever bottom-blasting found.

Not in the day, nor in the night,

Do anuses trump with delight.

Not once are arses given vent.

That's the curious incident.

 

Presentation:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) presented his latest stupid filking attempt:


 

Any Other Business:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) has a lovely bottle of scotch downstairs, so the meeting was ended more hurriedly that usual.

Monday, 8 September 2025

Monthly Meeting Minutes – 8th September 2025

Date of Meeting: 8th September 2025


Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

There were no apologies this month.

 

Toast:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) gave the following toast:


Sahara King,

You beautiful thing.

Like a spring

That went "PING!"

You went killing.

And you bit the face off some woman in a very boring story.

 

Presentation:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) presented his theory regarding the disappearance of James Phillimore:


James Phillimore

(AKA Ettore Majorana?)

 

I have always found James Phillimore one of the more intriguing characters in The Canon. For those who need reminding, he is briefly mentioned in THOR 1:5:

Among these unfinished tales is that of Mr James Phillimore, who, stepping back into his own house to get his umbrella, was never more seen in this world.

Just one sentence. And yet such a fascinating notion.

As THOR was published in 1922, the only extra information we can deduce is that Mr Phillimore disappeared sometime before this. We may also suggest that it is likely that Phillimore vanished sometime before Holmes’s 1903 retirement. But that’s it. That’s all we could know. Until now. Because upon recently reading about the circumstances of Ettore Majorana’s disappearance in Italy, I couldn’t help but draw parallels and I wonder if James and Ettore may be the same person…

Ettore Majorana was an Italian theoretical physicist born in Sicily, 1906. He was considered a genius and he was mostly interested in neutrino masses. At one point he was working with Werner Heisenberg – the famous quantum mechanics pioneer. Such was his influence in this field that Majorana fermions and Majorana particles (which he predicted theoretically) are named after him even though they were only really beginning to be properly understood in 2017. Indeed, scientists are now starting to realise that Majorana’s work may go some way to explaining dark matter and dark energy. Descriptions of his theoretical work are almost always accompanied with the adjective “prescient”. In short, we may consider the man the master of the neutrino.

But on 25th March 1938 he purchased a ticket for a boat to take him from Palermo to Naples and then vanished.

The disappearance was clearly intentional. In the weeks leading up to this he had emptied his bank account. And on the day he vanished he had sent the following letter to the director of the Naples Physics Institute:

Dear Carrelli,
I made a decision that has become unavoidable. There isn't a bit of selfishness in it, but I realise what trouble my sudden disappearance will cause you and the students. For this as well, I beg your forgiveness, but especially for betraying the trust, the sincere friendship, and the sympathy you gave me over the past months.
I ask you to remember me to all those I learned to know and appreciate in your Institute, especially Sciuti: I will keep a fond memory of them all at least until 11 pm tonight, possibly later too.
— E. Majorana

The tale of Mr Ettore Majorana, who, stepping out to buy a ticket, was never more seen in this world has a ring of familiarity to it. It is as sudden, as inexplicable and as couched in mundane activity as the disappearance of James Phillimore 38 years before.

It would be another 73 years before enough evidence came to light to solve these mysteries.

In September 2011 experiments at CERN showed that the velocity of certain neutrinos exceeded the speed of light. This was repeated in improved experiments in November of the same year. According to relativity, if an object can travel faster than the speed of light, it will end up in the past. So, these experiments suggest that neutrinos can travel into the past. Later experiments suggested that the speed of neutrinos was merely equal to the speed of light, but if we ignore this, it is clear that neutrinos are the key to time travel.

Another piece of significant information which came to light in 2011 was the testimony of an unnamed witness who claimed to have met Majorana in Caracas, Venezuela in 1955. And he had a photo to prove it. Majorana had been living there under the name “Mr Bini”. The problem? Bini was at least 10 years older than Majorana should have been.

How is this possible? It seems all too clear to me...

My theory is that he invented some sort of device that harnessed the power of the neutrino and used this to escape the unstable Europe of the late 1930s. With the whole world going all awry again, there was no point just escaping to a different place. Instead, his device allowed him to travel in time. 

As the device was untested, Majorana was aware that it may turn out to be rather dangerous. So, to reduce the impact on civilians if things went wrong, he bought a ticket and got on a boat to Naples. He waited until he was in the middle of the Tyrrhenian Sea before using it. This way the devastation of any sort of nuclear explosion would be limited to a few boat passengers, rather than a whole city.

But there was no explosion. The device worked and Majorana found himself in 1890s England. I doubt that the move in space was planned - I think he was aiming for 1890s Sicily.  Not that it matters. Whatever his intensions were, England was where he arrived.

Having only just left the growing tensions of 1930s Europe, Majorana was familiar with English xenophobia. And things were no different around the turn of the century. The unflattering descriptions of Italians in SIXN and REDC are evidence enough that even in the Holmesian era, Italians were not popular in England. So, the first thing he did was take on a new personality – Mr James Phillimore, an English gentleman.

Why did Ettore choose the name of James Phillimore? Well, it is notable that James means “holder of the heel” and Ettore means “holding fast”. As for Phillimore – which literally means “foal in the moor” – who can tell? Perhaps this was the first scene he saw upon arrival. Perhaps he could think of nothing more English than horses and moors. Or perhaps his eye happened to fall upon one of the many books by William Phillimore Watts Phillimore which were published around this time.

Remember that Majorana emptied his bank accounts before disappearing. It is my belief that he converted his money into some tradable commodity (e.g. jewels or gold) which he took with him. He would easily be able to convert this into money appropriate for whatever time and place he arrived at. Using this money, he would be able to swiftly set himself up with a new home, laboratory and persona. Then he could effectively sit out both world wars twenty-something years before they even started.

Majorana, under his new name of Phillimore, spent the next ten years conducting further research into neutrinos and improving his time travel device. He liked to work in collaboration with other scientists, so it is probable that he was taking his device to show to one of his past-peers on the fateful day that Phillimore disappeared.

Majorana would, most likely, have been working with J. J. Thompson in Cambridge. Thompson is credited with the discovery of the electron and seems just the sort of fellow who Majorana would seek out in the 1890s. I contend that on the day he disappeared Phillimore/Majorana (or Phillimajorana, if you prefer) was intending to take his time-travel device to Thompson's laboratory where they could work on it together. However, as he started out, it began to rain. To prevent his device from getting water damaged, he tried to return home for an umbrella. Sadly, rainwater had already seeped into the device and, as he passed the threshold of his home, it shorted out, exploded and sent him hurtling forwards in time.

Majorana found himself in Venezuela just after the Second World War had finished. His device was ruined and, as he had not had time to prepare for this journey, he was without funds. He then discovered that Majorana would have not been a popular man anymore – he was considered an evil scientist on the side of the Axis Powers. Fascists had long since gone out of fashion and Nazis were now naughty. And Majorana had been both. So, once again, he had to reinvent himself. This time he became Mr Bini: a nobody, stuck in Caracas, living out his remaining days quietly and simply.

Suddenly, it makes sense that Holmes could not solve the case in 1900. While he was interested in science, the notions of neutrinos, relativity and quantum physics were decades away. Holmes simply lacked the tools with which to frame the Phillimore story. Had he been looking into it today, I reckon he'd have it sorted in no time.

 

Any Other Business:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) wished to wish "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) a happy birthday. Unfortunately it was not "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)'s birthday so "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) could not wish "The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) a happy birthday.

Monday, 25 August 2025

Monthly Meeting Minutes – 25th August 2025

Date of Meeting: 25th August 2025


Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for once again having to rush something out at the last minute because his head has been elsewhere.

 

Toast:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) gave the following toast:


The horse,

Of course,

Uses force

To cause

Sores

By kicking John Staker's head clean off.


Naughty horse.

 

Presentation:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) presented a really low quality song he had made entitled "Gillette - The Best a Holmes Can Get":


 

Any Other Business:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) did some dirty business.

Friday, 25 July 2025

Monthly Meeting Minutes – 25th July 2025

Date of Meeting: 25th July 2025


Location of Meeting:

The Sherloft, My House, Portsmouth, UK

 

Attendees:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller)

 

Apologies:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) apologised for leaving this so late in the month that he had nothing decent to present.

 

Toast:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) gave the following toast:


Dr Watson

Had a large

Throbbing

Bright red

Wound.


Somewhere.


 

Presentation:

Paul Thomas Miller (The Entire Canon) led a discussion about Arthur Conan Doyle's Portsmouth and Southsea:


Arthur Conan Doyle’s Portsmouth and Southsea


In 1882, Arthur Conan Doyle left Plymouth on a packet steamer and disembarked at a headland 150 miles along the coast. Here he decided to invent Portsmouth and Southsea as a sort of practical joke.

Doyle had spent a few months in Plymouth living with Dr George Turnavine Budd. He couldn’t believe such a hellscape existed in the real world. Low wages and high unemployment in the city had led to criminal tendencies and poor education among the masses. It was a boring, run-down miserable place to be.

Upon arriving at Portsea Island, Doyle set about making somewhere worse – just to see if it was possible. He would call this new city Portsmouth and, purely for the fun of confusing people, he would arbitrarily separate a chunk of the city and call it Southsea and tell everyone this was, in fact, a separate town, even though no one knew where the borders between them lay.

He populated it by using his secret Scotch doctor powers to breed a race of Unter-Mench. These homunculi would swagger about the new city spitting on everything. Just for the lols, he gave them the ability to speak, but not the ability to form real words. In order to make up for a lack of diction or anything to say, these wizened savages shouted their meaningless angry little noises at each other twenty-four hours a day. A tradition which continues to this day.

In order to establish it as one of Britain’s worst seaside resorts, Doyle spent five years removing all the sand from the beach and replacing it with uncomfortable shingle. This did nothing to dissuade the local vulgarites from descending upon it en masse any time the sun came out. Much to Doyle’s amusement, they would spend the whole of the summer crammed on the stony shoreline, packed shoulder to shoulder, where they would get drunk, smash beer bottles into the shingle, defecate upon everything and then lay there turning red in the sunburny goodness of the day.

In order to complete the experience, Doyle provided the locals with a sewage treatment works at one end of the beach which, even today, sees Southsea beach as one of the few places on the south coast where “bathing is not advised” and the water classification is “poor”.

At this point, Doyle thought the denizens of Shithole-On-Sea may require a hobby, so he gave them the highest density of pubs per square mile anywhere in the UK – 12 per square mile.

At this point Doyle felt he had gone too far, so he established a naval base large enough to make it a good target for the Germans in the two upcoming world wars. Sadly, Germany was rubbish at wars and completely failed to wipe Portsmouth off the map.

It’s not all bad news, though. In 1902 Doyle was knighted by King Eddy Seven for services to Pranks that Get Out of Hand. At which point Doyle decided to lend his services to the Boer War and ghosties.

 

Any Other Business:

"The Entire Canon" (Paul Thomas Miller) has no dignity left.